10 unwritten rules of working on a magazine
The dos and don'ts of every editorial department
Stay in your lane. Designers must never change any words. The result could have disastrous results. Stick to Latin or lots of xxxxxxxxs for safety.
Subs must never change a picture, the size of a drop cap or the kerning. If the horizontal width of the type is altered manually, the art desk have a legitimate case for physical violence.
Subs must always check the picture credits, captions and subheads for ‘funny’ dummy copy. There’s always a designer around who will troll you with swears and insults. When joke dummy copy makes it into print, your blood will run cold.
The whole team must gather around the Art Director’s chair to write coverlines. Everyone will watch as the cover is designed in real time. A prolonged silence after a suggestion of a line is a good indication that everyone thinks it’s a terrible idea. When the Art Director says for the fifth time ‘I think we’re there and I’ll finesse this in my own time’ it actually means ‘For the love of God, go away and leave me alone.’
The Editor’s Letter page will be the final page to be approved and sent to press, for no reason other than the fact they won’t have written it until that morning.
The advertising department will always try and sneak in a revolting looking dog-of-an-advert for snake oil/incontenance pads/dodgy scratch cards. It’ll be because they’re making a packet in commission. Try and get them to hide it somewhere. Make sure it doesn’t end up right next to the cover feature.
The art department will always drop every other task (even in press week) if there is a need for a fake front cover to be designed for someone’s leaving/baby/retirement/director’s sister-in-law’s birthday card. It takes priority and the ruder the coverlines, the better.
Press-trips, free samples, fancy drinks, PR events should be handed around fairly. If you are a hogger of the freebies, it will be noticed. And talked about.
During press week and on photo shoots, calories don’t count. If you see someone rocking in their chair, those tubs of chocolate treats from M&S will do the trick.
When a box of magazines arrives in the office, you absolutely must deeply inhale the scent of the first copy in the box. Best smell in the world.
Love it! reminds me of my old life 😬 I think I have though this week broke every one of those rules!